so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
