my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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