he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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