He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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