well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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