I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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