so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
