just come out here and I will go home with you...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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