the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think your dad took our porno
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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