Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
