I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize