i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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