Just fell off a train. Bad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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