did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
