I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
