Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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