You don't have asthma, your pregnant
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
