My cat gives me a boner
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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