she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
what is it with giant penises always finding me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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