Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
