Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
