Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
