Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
