suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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