i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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