every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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