Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize