My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
