he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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