I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize