Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
