look no pants
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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