3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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