Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
