Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
