Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
