OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
