his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
