I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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