Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
