You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.