I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"