Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad