Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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