Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
