So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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