OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
