I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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