I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
