I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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