I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
