i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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