May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
