we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize