Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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