she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize