I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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