i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
