don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
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Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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