I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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